Unbearable Suffering: My Fight With the Mysterious Suffering of Cluster Headaches

It was a overcast weekday in the morning in September 2016. I worked as a teacher, attempting to manage a new group of students, when a sharp pain sprang behind my one eye. Then came quick jolts, like lightning bolts. As each class came and went, the discomfort eased and then returned with increased intensity. Multiple times that day I handed over a colleague with activities and ran to the staff bathroom to soak my face with cold water. I tried aspirin, but the pain remained unrelenting.

The attacks returned repeatedly that autumn, and once more in the spring, soon forming an yearly cycle. September and October were the worst, then the late winter. I could predict the routine: a warning sensation in the shower, early twinges on the commute, full-on agony in class by mid-morning. In late 2019, a doctor finally referred me to a specialist and I was diagnosed with cluster headaches.

Cluster headaches often start with intense discomfort around one eye that lasts up to three hours.

About 1 in 1000 individuals suffer by the disorder, and males are more frequently diagnosed. Cluster headaches typically begin with sudden, severe pain focused on one eye that reaches its peak within minutes and continues for as long as three hours. Episodes come in clusters, daily or several times a day, and are associated with red or watery eyes, sagging eyelids or facial sweating. I have the episodic form, which occurs in seasonal cycles; others have continuous cluster headaches, defined by the lack of extended pain-free periods.

What connects patients is the intensity. One research paper scored the pain at 9.7 out of 10, more severe than broken bones or other conditions. A separate discovered 64% of cluster headache patients experienced thoughts of self-harm amid bouts; the number fell to four percent when they were pain-free.

One patient, 74, a chronic sufferer from Wales, finds this understandable. Her attacks began when she was a toddler. “I would throw myself on the floor and hit my head. That was put down to being spoiled,” she says. Her symptoms deteriorated through childhood. Drinking in her teens, similar to many triggers, made things worse. After having alcohol at her graduation party, she remembers barely being able to see on the bus home.

Her family often mistook her attacks as drunken behavior. Understanding finally came from her father and then from her husband, Rod. “I was very lucky to find such an understanding person,” she says. Hobbs took clerical work after moving, but often concealed her condition. She was fired from one job, partly due to absences during attacks. Her breakthrough diagnosis came in the early 2000s at a national neurology center.

Still, the inability to plan daily activities around erratic attacks took its toll. She particularly hated being unable to plan social events, being seen as unreliable as a colleague, and even having to be looked after by her family during the paralysis caused by the most severe episodes. “It robs you of the simple liberties we don't appreciate until they're gone,” she says. She recalls winning tickets for a significant concert, only to have an episode inside a portable toilet.


Headaches have been described across the ages. “The earliest account of headache comes by way of the ancient civilizations in antiquity,” write authors in a publication on the topic. They attributed the disease to an malevolent entity who afflicted his victims' heads.

Historical medical texts suggest bizarre treatments for what some experts would describe as a headache disorder. In the medieval times, migraine was identified as a distinct condition, with treatments ranging from bloodletting to other, more folk cures.

It was a European physician who provided the initial detailed description of a cluster-type attack. In his writings, he speaks of a patient “suffering with a very intense headache happening and disappearing each day at specific hours”.

The disorder were only formally classified by international headache committees in 1988. From the mid-20th century to the 1990s, they were thought to be caused by a issue with a key blood vessel which supplies blood to the brain. Leading specialists in diagnosing the condition explain this.

In 1998, researchers published the results of a research project for which they had induced attacks in patients and monitored the episodes in a brain scanner. The results, published in a prominent medical publication, showed activation of the a brain region, which is responsible for human circadian rhythm, when patients were in pain, and a reduction when they felt better.

In spite of such progress, identification remains slow. One man's attacks started in the 1980s and felt like “a modelling balloon being inflated behind my left eye”. GPs thought he had a sinus issue; he had four operations before eventually being correctly identified in recently, after a doctor researched his symptoms.

Specialists say wait times in diagnosis and managing occur because patients are rarely seen mid-attack. “You're tired and depressed, but not in agony,” one says. He works by ruling out other primary head pain conditions, such as migraine, before confirming the disorder. A thorough patient history is crucial: on which part of the head do signs occur? For how much time? What season? Are there precipitating factors, such as certain foods? Specific features such as redness, drooping eyelids and nasal congestion help confirm cluster headaches. Once diagnosed, patients may be referred to dedicated centers. But many first go to emergency rooms or are given unsuitable therapies.

A charity trustee, 78, has experienced the condition for the majority of her adult life, although she hasn't had an attack since 2016. When she was in her 20s, she had her molars pulled because dental professionals misinterpreted her pain. She thinks the dental profession still need greater education. When another patient sought help from a charity, it was she who responded. I remember calling a support line during an bout in early 2021; a reassuring volunteer talked them through oxygen treatment and drugs until the episode eased.

Official guidance on management advise that patients are offered high-flow oxygen therapy and/or a anti-migraine drug administered by injection. No oral painkillers or opioids should be used. Prophylactic options include a blood pressure medication, which apparently soothes the attacks of some people.

But leading neurologists believe the official guidelines need updating to reflect a clearer treatment process and help general practitioners avoid incorrect prescriptions. For periodic patients, the treatment window is everything: “The duration of the cycle dictates the approach.” Short cycles with infrequent episodes are handled with acute therapy only. Longer or more intense bouts require preventives such as certain drugs, sometimes combined with corticosteroids. Many patients also receive a nerve block injection during a cycle – an injection into the side of the head where the pain is that reduces nerve signals.

The national guidelines need updating to reflect a
Robert Jones
Robert Jones

Elena Hartwell is an interior designer with 10 years of experience, passionate about creating functional and stylish homes.