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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?